Mama's Collective Unconscious

What happens in English class stays in English class??

2009-03-17T18:53:10Z

Just in case you think YOUR life is surreal, just try teaching English to 10th graders someday. Today in class, my students finished their tests a little early and I let them bring up www.youtube.com and here's what they came up with . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc

I just about wet myself I laughed so hard.

Wow, what a day!

2009-02-06T16:50:12Z

My same "fannish" senior who gave me the link for the Star Wars Tribute, hooked me on my new visual crack for the day.

Check it out! Especially the one for Twilight. I couldn't stop laughing.

That Guy With the Glasses - Bum Reviews

This is why I love Barack Obama!

2009-02-06T15:26:31Z

Direct quote when discussing the need for change in the approach to the economy at the House Democrats Retreat in Williamsburg, VA - 2-5-2009

"I don't care if you're driving a hybrid or an SUV, if you're headed for a cliff, you've got to change direction." - President Barack Obama

I need some help!

2009-02-03T13:48:17Z

Hey everybody - I need some help - and before I get any cracks about my mental health . . . My department chair asked me to come up with some suggestions for a sci-fi or fantasy book to replace a Wizard of Earthsea on our summer reading list. Remember now, this is a book that is going to be taught in a Catholic high school in NoVa. Any thoughts?

Star Wars Humor

2008-11-11T22:25:31Z

This was too good not to share with my wider circle. One of my fannish seniors (a high school senior - I teach high school, remember?) shared this with me during lunch today and I just had to post the link. Some of you may have already seen this - or received the email from me earlier today - but just shut up and enjoy it again already!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lk5_OSsawz4

Prepare ye the way of the noodle!

2006-11-10T13:12:07Z

Mormons do it, Evangelicals do it, even little Jehovah's Witnesses do it . . .

Now it's my turn :)

The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts"

1. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like a Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject.

2. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don't Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.

3. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This In Your Thick Heads: Woman = Person. Man = Person. Samey - Samey. One Is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal and Fuchsia.

4. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off the TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.

5. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******.

6. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build Multimillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick):
Ending Poverty
Curing Diseases
Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable
I Might be a Complex-Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM the Creator.

7. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go Around Telling People I Talk To You. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint?

8. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If the Other Person Is Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear a CONDOM! Honestly, It's A Piece of Rubber. If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.

Thanks to psu_jedi

2006-10-26T16:53:54Z

You scored as Moya (Farscape). You are surrounded by muppets. But that is okay because they are your friends and have shown many times that they can be trusted. Now if only you could stop being bothered about wormholes.

</td>

Moya (Farscape)

75%

Babylon 5 (Babylon 5)

75%

Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix)

63%

Millennium Falcon (Star Wars)

63%

Serenity (Firefly)

50%

Enterprise D (Star Trek)

50%

Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica)

44%

Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda)

44%

SG-1 (Stargate)

44%

Deep Space Nine (Star Trek)

38%

Bebop (Cowboy Bebop)

38%

FBI's X-Files Division (The X-Files)

31%

Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile II: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? (pics)
created with QuizFarm.com

What fun! :)

Thank You, Thank You a Thousand Times Thank You!

2006-10-17T16:37:55Z

Dear LJ Guardian Angel,

Thank you so much for the lovely gift of another year's paid account to LJ. I was thrilled to discover the notification in my inbox today. I would give you lots of hugs and chocolate if I knew who you were, but hey, all the better for me. Yay, paid account Live Journal-ly goodness! :)

Belated announcement

2006-08-18T13:00:57Z

Okay everybody, sorry this is so late in coming, but I did want to let everyone know that the youngest offspring of ishyko did, in fact arrive around 2PM, Wednesday, August 16th. The c-section went fine and our littlest beastie came out blue, but totally fine. The only stat I got from Mom and Dad was that he weighed 8 lbs, 1 oz - smaller than every child in our group except for my X. Mom did have some complications, (which is one of the reasons why this post is so late in coming) but she's totally fine and recuperating nicely now. Mom and baby should be coming home on Saturday afternoon. I'm sure that ishyko will post more - including pics - as soon as she is able.

Please link this post - or post your own - to anyone you think would like the info and I don't have friended, or vice versa. Thanks!

Yay! New baby! :)

Some randomness

2006-06-13T14:57:51Z

I always think it's weird when I see mennonites using technology. I know they don't follow the same strict laws as the amish, but still, seeing a Ford Aerostar full of mennonite's complete with prairie dresses and white caps, it always blows my mind.

Also, CONGRATS to our favorite fish, Lance Bass, who has FINALLY decided to come out of the closet. sunnys, you have finally been vindicated! (Like we didn't already know) :)

Blech.

2006-05-24T13:14:48Z

Is it bad that I couldn't care less about getting ANY work done at all? The only thing I seem to be able to focus on today is going to sign my contract at 3pm. I've got a class coming in 20 minutes and I just can't seem to pull myself away from the keyboard long enough to move that lame-ass computer cart. Maybe I'll just have them watch a movie today. It's not like they're actually Type-ing To Learn at this point anyway. I feel like an anthropologist observing some strange new nomadic culture. (Hmm, maybe I could get a book out of it!) ;D

The kids are outta here 3 weeks from today anyway and I'm can not wait! Of course, I really do need to get my rear in gear or I'm never gonna get out of here by the 16th (my last official day of work under the auspices of Fr. Fascist.) Oh well, I'll finish this post and then see if I can drag my butt out of my chair long enough to . . . oh, who am I kidding - How Computers Work - A Journey Into The Walk-Through Computer it is. Hey - at least it's not Narnia, like they're showing in every other classroom in the school. [sigh]

Squueeeee!

2006-05-22T13:14:46Z

Okay, if you happen to be one of the 3 people I didn't get around to calling on Friday afternoon (and haven't managed to hear through the grapevine since then . . . )

I GOT THE JOB!!!!!

Now I get to go sign a contract, pick up my textbooks, trade books and start prepping for next year as a 10th grade world lit teacher! :D

As my icon says: YAY!

Aaarrrrrrgggghhhh!!!!!

2006-05-11T17:06:48Z

Okay, I need to get this off my chest once and for all.

The DaVinci Code is a WORK OF FICTION. It is sold in the bloody FICTION section. Dan Brown is a FICTION writer. How strong can the faith of these people be who are making all the stink about the work's blashemous and heretical nature??? Get over it people. You're just pissed because you didn't think of it first!

Jobs, jobs, jobs!

2006-05-08T19:23:54Z

Okay, first off - update on my interview. It went fairly well. I got the impression from the 2 ladies I interviewed with that my experience, etc. is a good fit for what they're looking for. It would be 10th grade world lit. if I get the job, and possibly (depending on whether or not someone already in the dept. doesn't decide to take it) a couple of creative writing courses. Outside of my comfort zone on the cw stuff, but hey, don't all the best jobs have a little something outside of your comfort zone so you can grow. At least that's how I plan to think of it. I should hear within the next week and a half to two weeks. Keep your fingers crossed for me. :)

Now, on to the rant!

Things still not looking so great on the job front for BorgDaddy, who THANKS TO THE POS COMPANY FROM HELL is no longer gainfully employed. Basticles!! I'm a little irritated with more than a few companies out there who can't be bothered to at least send out a blanket email to applicants stating that the position has been filled and that they'll keep the resume on file in case anything else comes up. I mean for heaven's sake, it doesn't require anything more than a form email and having the emails of the applicants filled into the send column. It's not like I'm asking for a phone call or even a snail mail form letter. Send out a freaking email! How bloody hard is that??!! Boy, does it piss me off that these idiot companies can't even be bothered to follow common courtesy.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled work day/coffee break/whatever. :)

Aaarrgghh!

2006-05-03T17:31:12Z

I HATE interviews. I know I'll do fine on my interview tomorrow, but I'm so damned nervous about it. If only I didn't want it so badly, maybe I wouldn't be so freaked out. Think of me tomorrow at 4. I know I'm personally keeping everything crossed until it's over. (Just ask Borgdaddy - heh heh.) >:)

borgmama @ 2006-04-26T08:50:00

2006-04-26T13:21:07Z

Guess who's got an interview to teach an English position at the school I've been dreaming about working at ever since moving to this area! :) Yup, 4 pm, next Thursday. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Many THANKS and can't wait for next season!

2006-04-03T14:41:33Z

As I'm sure anyone who cares knows, the Pats lost to the the Gators 73-58, but they really did put forth the old college try! It was a frustrating, nail biting game and my own small bevy of fans supported our Mason team to the bitter end. We were saddened at their loss, but still thrilled that our team made it all the way to the Final Four and hopeful that the Pats can take it all the way next year!

We love you, Mason! GO PATS!

Okay psu_jedi, I think I finally get it. ;)

2006-03-27T13:59:33Z

I never thought I'd see the day that I cared about the Final 4. I like basketball - even to watch on tv, but it wasn't until the George Mason University Patriots went to the Sweet 16 that I even cared a little. It's a novel thing for me to have ties to a school that actually has national standing in ANY sport that anyone cares about. My undergrad alma mater was NOT a big sports school, but GMU has done amazingly well and after watching OT yesterday for the Mason v. UConn game, I've GOT the fever! I even wore school colors to work today. :)

Go Mason! Go Pats!

March madness has NOTHING to do with basketball!

2006-03-20T20:33:41Z

ishyko and I have been house hunting for about the last 2 weeks. Not having a whole lot of luck finding anything reasonable in our area (what a shocker there!) So, of course, the husbands TM got the bright idea that we should look in Stafford - a 25 mile drive (which can mean anything between 30 minutes and an hour depending on traffic) into the middle of NOWHERE!! I must concede that we could afford something much closer to approaching our "dream house" if we were willing to move our butts all the way out there, but um, NO!!! I'm willing to pay a bit of a premium to stay somewhat closer to civilization. So if you hear the whining and the inarticulate screeching somewhere off to your left and behind you (or across the pond, as it were,) you'll know who it is and why!

Ouch!!!

2006-02-10T20:34:24Z

Life is always interesting as an 8th grade lit. teacher, but this week has been especially trying. Take 290 students between the ages of 4 and 14 all getting a bad case of spring fever, a room thermostat stuck on hotter than blazes and add in the threat of snow falling this weekend and you'll get a little picture of what my week's been like. Luckily, I am always ready for a good laugh and my co-workers are always ready to provide it. Thanks to the 5th grade teacher I got a great laugh (mainly because these beauts didn't actually come from any of my students) that I just HAD to share! Hope you enjoy as much as I did. :)

"Why English Teachers Die Young - Actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays"

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

26. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

BOY, can I use a drink. Anyone want to join me?? :)

Harry Potter News!

2006-02-02T21:25:25Z

For those of you who don't subscribe to/visit HPANA on an hourly basis (Yes, sunnys you can ignore this post b/c I'm sure YOU already know this), here's some info about some casting for OotP:

Luna Lovegood and other casting news

I was especially interested by the casting of Dolores Umbridge! :)

Can I just say I HATE network television??

2006-01-23T21:08:13Z

First I heard this morning that CBS was taking charge of the Star Trek franchise (shudder) and then I get the news that The West Wing is being cancelled! What a bunch of basticles. :(

That's it, I'm movin' to Sparta!

Well stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it!

2006-01-20T13:45:23Z

Finally, we've gotten a comment (although unofficial) from the Vatican, through its official newspaper, L'Osservatore Romano, on intelligent design theory and evolution. For those of you with NYTimes accounts, here's the whole article:

In 'Design' vs. Darwinism, Darwin Wins Point in Rome

Take it with the usual grain of salt and it actually seems somewhat promising. This is the first thing that's actually made Pope Palpatine TM seem a little easier on the conscience.

I didn't know I had it so good!

2006-01-13T13:46:13Z

Little did I know as a student back in HS that our teachers hated report card time as much as we did. I think I may dread it even more on this end of the equation than I did on the receiving end. It makes me long for the days when all I had to worry about was the interminable math grade grounding. Oh how I long for the days when my punishment was that I had to stay home. What I wouldn't give to be able to just "go to my room" these days!

So, of course, as the deadline for grades submission approaches what am I doing? Checking my e-mail, updating my lj, just about anything I can to avoid reading trite, boring or pandering journal entries from my eighth graders - and they're a good class this year! What can I say, why do it today when you can procrastinate tomorrow. >:)

New Year's resolutions? We don't need no stinkin' New Year's resolutions!

2006-01-07T02:21:35Z

I've never been a fan of the "New Year's resolution." I think they're silly and noone ever keeps them. But, if I had to make one, THIS would be it!

In the year 2006 I resolve to:

Slap stupid people in the head.

Get your resolution here

Happy New Year! . . . smack!